Frustration Hides In Great Expectations: Human Nature and Beliefs
By: Robert McCluskey
Submitted: 2010-08-19 04:55:48 | Word Count: 677
This piece is on the subject of expectations but it has not a thing to do with a Charles Dickens story. Forgive me if you came here via a search engine since you may possibly, in reality, have been trying to find Dickens.
I have generally been fascinated by "frustration" as an observer, a sufferer, and an origin of it. In my investigation of Psychology I found out that frustration involves three factors: our expectations, our beliefs about actuality and our responses. Psychologists identify "frustration" as our response to the variation between what we expect and our concept of what literally comes to pass. For instance, if we expect our supervisor will compliment us with regards to our efforts, and he or she says something cynical about it actually, we react in a negative way. Our response may be bodily, intellectual or emotional, or a combination of the three. That effect is known as "frustration."
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The measure of our frustration is directly proportional to the difference between the power of our expectation and the extent of the failure of reality to match the expectation. If you hold a great expectation of a certain end result, you are going to not be frustrated if the outcome occurs. On the other hand, if the result does not happen, you will be frustrated. The greater the initial expectation, the higher the frustration if it doesn't take place. When you do not expect any results, or have a lower expectation, you'll not encounter much frustration when it does not come about.
Plainly, if it is possible to stay clear of experiencing expectations you'll be able to stay clear of frustration. It is critical to comprehend this basic principle because in quite a few cases, as in this illustration, we have no power over the outcomes of our situations. Unfortunately, it is impossible to steer clear of expectations, simply because expectations are a result of our requirement to recognize how the universe operates. We need to find a way to employ certain control over our environment and recognizing what to be expecting is really a necessity for that undertaking. Our natural environment is not continuously charitable, and our expectations make it possible for us to react properly to safeguard ourselves. As an illustration, we might hear a person say, "I made it through that predicament because I knew what to be expecting."
We are faced with a dilemma: we need to have expectations to be able to deal with our surroundings, but those expectations often generate frustration. Two basic rules can enable us to minimize frustration in the face of this dilemma of human nature:
Have reasonable expectations. Understand the distinction between wishes and expectations. There's really no inherent relationship between the two. The simple fact that we really want a thing doesn't create any possibility that we will obtain it. In order to decrease frustration we have to maintain the proper comprehension of the situation and then take appropriate action to obtain what we desire.
When you base your expectations on variables that you do not recognize or cannot or won't handle, you multiply your odds of frustration. This is particularly important in human culture. When we found our expectations of people on our suppositions about their character or their beliefs and perceptions concerning us, we risk frustration. When we are unable to tell folks what we expect of them, we are in danger of frustration as well. When we irrationally expect folks to magically understand our own principles, philosophy and thinking, we're practically guaranteed to be constantly frustrated. It is irrational to base our expectations of other persons on the presumption that they will think and respond just like us.
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