By: Beth Ortiz
Submitted: 2008-08-22 13:10:24 | Word Count: 520
Gone are the days when your legs, albeit hairier than most men s, looked good in shorts. You used to spend entire days out on your boat tanning, and by the end of the summer your legs looked like muscular sculptures of copper. Yes indeed, your legs looked great back then. So what if you re a guy?
You want those legs back again, and are desperately looking for a home cure for spider veins. Your legs certainly look far different than they used to. Age has slowly but surely caught up to you, and now your legs show it. No, you will not give into age! You tell yourself that, no matter what, you most certainly will find a home cure for spider veins!
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Your wife, ever the practical one, asks you why for goodness sake you need to figure out your own home cure for spider veins when you could just go to a dermatologist. You shake your head, vehemently opposing her suggestion. After all, she wouldn t understand – it s a guy thing.
Secretly, though, you want to come up with your own home cure for spider veins because you don t want a dermatologist to see your weakness. You want a chance to prove that you can outsmart medicine! So now, the journey begins by trying to figure out what might work best.
You begin by thinking about taking vitamins, or maybe eating more spinach. Heck, just look at Popeye – he ate all of that spinach and you don t see any spider veins on him! So you ve decided to begin by taking 2 men s vitamins a day (better too much than too little, you always say) and eating a big bowl of spinach each night with dinner.
Your wife, appalled as she was by your stubbornness, had initially tried helping you out by making the spinach for you. However, you came to the conclusion that she simply wasn t putting enough vinegar in, so you started making the spinach yourself. After all, maybe the vinegar will blast away any of the junk that made those veins appear in the first place!
Well, it s now been two weeks, and those ugly veins are still there. You haven t, in fact, seen any improvement. The only changes are that the house smells like spinach all the time, and your tongue is turning green. So, it s back to thinking about another possible cure.
Heat might do it, right? After all, heat is used for so many other things, that it would certainly be able to help those stupid veins. You take an inventory of all the heating pads you have in the house. Well, there s only two – one for you, and one for your wife. You ll need more than that.
A hundred dollars and six heating pads later, you re ready. You place three on each leg, and settle into your recliner and watch television for five hours straight, each and every day. Thank goodness for retirement, right? Your wife stands in the kitchen, and calmly dials the number of her vein doctor.
