By: Jim Robinsonx
Submitted: 2010-02-19 12:25:58 | Word Count: 705
Are you in the position where you have broken up with your boyfriend but really would like to rebuild the relationship? Do your heartstrings get tugged every time you hear a particular song on the radio, go to a certain place or smell a certain smell?
This is a complicated and very emotionally charged time for you. It is very difficult to not end up doing the wrong thing that will push away your boyfriend more. So how do you go about getting your ex boyfriend back. I hope these hints will help you as they have helped me in the past.
Don’t Panic!
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Above all do not panic. This can be very destructive and confirms their decision to break up. It will just drive your ex boyfriend further away. So what do I imply by panic? Here are some of the typical signs:
- Text message terrorism. Sending your ex boyfriend a torrent of texts trying to stay in contact
- Drunk Dialling. Phoning up your ex boyfriend when drunk or in a highly emotional state professing you undying love and begging to come back.
- Having countless discussions about the breakup
- Wanting to chat to their friends all the time. Often to try and find out the "real" reason they have broken up from you because you cannot accept the reason they have given.
-"Accidental" meetings. These do not fool your ex boyfriend and they really do not fool you.
So what should you do?
This is really tough because it goes against all that your heart (and maybe your friends are telling you).
What you should is often opposite you feelings. At this time you agree with the breakup and are cool and calm with it (what ever you feel inside). If you have panicked then now is the time to stop, if you haven’t done any of the text messaging, drunk dialling etc then you are way ahead of the game and in a powerful position.
Why does this work?
There are a number of very strong psychological reasons why backing off and being cool about the breakup works better than chasing your ex boyfriend and pleading him to come back. The most important is this - People want what they cannot have. This may be designer clothes when they do cannot afford them, money in the bank when they do not have any or love and attention when they lack it.This is the way you can work to get your ex boyfriend back. Human nature makes us want what we cannot have If you make it clear that he cannot have you any longer then his psychological triggers will be activated. He will begin to want what he cannot have, this is human nature.
Here what you do as a first step
Write a short note to him saying the following things - no more no less.
1. Tell him it's Okay that you are breaking up
2.If you did something "bad" like have an affair, in brief apologise (but do not invent things here)
3. Hint that something dramatic has happened in your life to change it but do not tell him
4. Say that you need space and time and wish him well
5. Finish the note by saying "Maybe at some point we could be friends"
The second step is just as important
Really do begin something new and exciting in your life, something where you are going to interact with other people especially men. For instance a great one is to start Salsa lessons - you will be dancing with new men all the time, you will get attention, and when your ex boyfriend hears about it (make sure that he does!) it will create envy and desire in him.
Remember relationships do end so think about this before proceeding If you have tried the tactics and they are not working then perhaps it is tiem to move on - this is a good time to get back to the Salsa
