By: Aaron Adams
Submitted: 2008-08-12 07:51:52 | Word Count: 535
Have you ever gone through a “cringe moment” in your relationship? This is most often when you accidentally say too much while in an animated conversation with your boyfriend. You may have said something that came out the wrong way, and while you didn t mean how it sounded, it was probably enough to make the relationship go south.
Don t worry – this happens to a lot of women, and not just you. And most women don t even mean to sound so weird in front of their boyfriends – they just get the unexpected opposite reaction from their boyfriends when they re talking about their feelings, fears, and expectations in the relationship.
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Since your boyfriend might withdraw right after you ve come clean with your feelings, it may give you the idea that men simply don t want to commit. Although partly true, men s fear of commitment isn t the real reason why they withdraw after you ve laid out all your cards.
Actually, men are more turned off by your fears and uncertainties than they are with the idea of committing for the long term. When you tell him about the events you went through in your past relationships and how you don t want to go through them again with him, it gives him the idea that maybe – just maybe – a relationship with you wouldn t be as fun as he thought it was going to be.
Although he may not even know about it, that s precisely how he loses interest.
Let s face it – men, like women, go into the dating game to meet fun, attractive, and easygoing mates. These are the kinds of women they d like to spend the rest of their lives with – women who make their lives much more enjoyable.
But when you talk to him so emotionally about your fears and uncertainties, it sort of paints the image of you in his mind that you may not exactly be the woman he s looking for. Not exactly the reassuring hug you were expecting, was it?
But you shouldn t have to worry too much. There are ways to get him back even after making this “mistake.”
If it takes only a few words to make him withdraw, it can also take only a few words to make him interested in you again. You just need to know which words make him smile and lean closer to you. In other words, you re looking for the situations that make him tick.
Another thing: since it s impossible to never talk about your fears and uncertainties over the course of your relationship, it s best to discuss these issues in a positive context. Instead of telling him how these issues scare you, tell him that it s particularly what makes your life exciting, and that you re willing to face the challenges head on. The better men out there sees such a feisty attitude as a huge turn on!
Of course, getting into such a feisty state of mind takes a lot of time and practice. But once you get used to it, you won t ever have to worry about the things you say to him.
