Meeting A Marriage Counselor Before Marriage- Is It Necessary?
By: William Jackson
Submitted: 2009-11-20 03:20:13 | Word Count: 562
For those who had a long relationship, think that ‘marriage’ is the ultimate and logical end to it. True, because according to them, they had found their partners for life. They know each other, are compatible and love each other. However, often affairs do not finally end up into marriages. Otherwise, marriages do take place but either they suffer in the long run or end up in a divorce. The reasons that can be counted are:
• The inability to judge each other fully,
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• Not paying any heed to and trying to resolve the conflicts of the mind and the heart
• Disappointment on seeing the stark difference between the life dreamt and the life that is
This is where the concept of marriage counseling comes in. But then again, how many of us even think of going to a marriage counselor before marriage? The answer is none.
In our personal lives, most of us have witnessed successful marriages that took place without counseling like those of our grandparents and parents. This has strengthened our belief in marriage and understanding of each other. But still we can’t deny the fact that marriages fail more in present times. And since you are opting for something crucial as marriage from which you can’t get back, it is better to opt for guidance. Keeping the complexities that might occur later in marriage, many couples now seek the professional help of a marriage counselor. They do so not because they are incapable of understanding each other or are at fault, but they do so to save their relationship, resolve any problem that they are facing or are likely to face in future and lastly to understand each other more deeply as individuals.
But who is this marriage counselor? A marriage counselor is a person who analyses both the individuals in a relationship, conducts different tests, asks them questions and tries to find out how different or how compatible they are and what can lead to a conflict later in their relationship. He/she identifies the problem areas and chalks out solutions to resolve any feared problem in the marriage.
However, it is dependent upon couples to justify whether they want to get counseled before marriage or not. Irrespective of having a love or an arranged marriage, couples might think of visiting a marriage counselor under given circumstances some of which are cited by ‘California Association for Marriage Family Therapists’ such as:
• When there is a clash between couples related to interests and activities, career goals, expectations from each other, finances, family and parenthood issues.
• When one or the other gives importance to commitment above anything else in a relationship.
• If you have a failed relationship or a failed marriage before.
• If the pattern of family life you lead is going to be different from the upcoming one.
So, the necessity of visiting a marriage counselor before tying the knot may spare you the traumas of a failed marriage later. But it is you two who justifies the necessity and importance of it above everyone else.
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